Sunday, July 15, 2007

How to know if you are old

It has been a while since I have posted. I thought Gerti might jump in, but she has had people at her house and this week several people's visits are overlapping. After all I did go out to her home and teach her how to blog on the 4th of July. Once she has something to say, and she usually does have an opinion, we won't be able to keep up with her posts.

So, I have been thinking how do you know when you officially are considered old. I still feel like I am 18 on the inside of me, but the outside of me keeps me out of denial. Here are some of my thoughts.

  • When someone asks do you have big plans for the weekend and your response is, Gee, I hope not! You might considered yourself old.
  • The first time you use the term young people in a sentence...I have to tell you...old!
  • I remember the first time the young man bagging my groceries at the Kroger called me mam, I went home and cried.
  • If there is a party and no young people are present...see the second bullet point and the talk all gravitates to recent operations, current operations or pending operations, you are at an old person's gathering.
  • When a late night out is 10:00 pm...old.
  • When dinner at 4:00 pm sounds like a good plan....old.
  • When you get the phone trees from the Adult Enrichment office letting you know that there are some fun day trips coming up and the fun trips include oh, visiting a cheese factory, going to see how boxes are made, or go out to Hunt Retreat to pick pecans. Old!
  • When transportation is always a are too old. I like seeing the wildflowers, Astro Games, plays in Galveston, but I want to go in a car. So, I am not as old as some.
  • Three words; Branson, Branson, Branson... old! old! old!
  • If almost every sentence begins with, "well why don't you have______" when speaking to a sales clerk...old.

Now I am not saying all of our ilk is fun seeking, bus riding, complaint oriented, tired and don't want to drive after dark, but it is close.

If you look closely at the picture in this post, you'll notice that both Gerti and I are holding thong underwear. Anytime I hear someone read that verse from Ecclesiastes about the strand of three cords not easily broken, I think several might feel the need to check and see if their thong panties are still holding up. That's the nice thing about being old, you don't need to buy thong underwear, our Grannie panties will bunch up on their own. I start singing, They've Got a Ticket to Ride when mine begin creeping up on me. Now you know the origin of the phrase, don't let your panties get in a wad. One has to be careful these days when one is trying to alleviate that situation... cause there are security cameras everywhere. Every since the movie Fatal Attraction that showed the goings on in some elevators, I believe there has to be hidden cameras. So a girl alone on an elevator can't pick her noise or much less pick her pa..... alleviate her delicate situation.

Well, I feel like a field guide leading you through the journey called getting old. If you have any comments please leave them for me and I will get to them as soon as possible. Remember if you have any questions that I can answer, send them this way too. Well, I have to go, it is nearly 3:00 and I have to get ready for dinner. Then I am going to go hear about an exciting fall trip to Branson. Then there are several day trips I need to check into. Oh, and I better see what Ed has the thermostat set on. I bet he is trying to freeze me out and has the dang thing set on 80. Then I am going to the church book store before it closes and ask why they don't carry more large print books. I mean really!


Dana said...

Oh man, I hate to be called ma'am. I tell the young people it's disrespectful.
One friend of mine and I joke about how we used to compare the prices of diapers and soon we will compare the prices on depends. Sadness.

Anonymous said...

Uh, I had to find out about this from someone else's blog? Thanks, Nancy! :) JK
You know I love you more than tater tots!

Shae said...

You know you at least look old when you are out with your friend who is 8 years older and the clerk asks her, "Would your Mom like to try something on?"

I nearly hurt myself trying not to inhale all the air in the store. lol